They felt I love her more than them. Rather I think it means that when we all grieve together when we share our sadnesses, our fears, and our joyful memories we are ultimately able to give and receive more support and comfort than if we were to grieve alone. Tracy September 8, 2017 at 10:31 am Reply. Im worried about my future too, if Ill ever recover from this! The amount of love that Mama had for her and everyone around her was always so overwhelming in the best way. Because you never know, and I regret it so much. In fact, it helps. And yes it doesnt matter how old and great their lives were it doesnt hurt less. My grandpa wouldve been 93 today. A few days before his death, I had planned on visiting but was swamped with homework. 0000007917 00000 n I hope you are at peace and resting you beautiful soul . You can write in it for as long as you feel you need to. The last week, I was visiting her even more , and she grabbed my hand looked at me and said , i am ready to leave . Since my grandfathers death Ive had two, every night before I go to bed I wonder if I will dream about him. I thought she was getting better, but she took a turn. I watched him, what I thought was fight it for a good 6 months, it absolutely ate him alive, he just wasted away, he would lie to me about his doctors appointments, and the results of tests, as well as why he would end up in hospitals again(out of town where I couldnt ask questions) as far as I knew he was just in a little pain, and they were going to start chemo. i lost my grandma yesterday. My great grandparents were my parents in my eyes and raised me from 4 I am 22 now. If you think that your ex doesnt care, youre probably right. She was 81, she suffered from asthma and cardiac disease, but for some reason, I thought she was immortal. when he died. Be gentle with yourself. She will always have a piece of my heart and i will pray for her peace and happiness every single day of my life. I lost my Mimi (my maternal grandmother) on October 9, 2019. I have my mom and I love her to death but theres nothing like my Gma, I am the first born grandchild. It doesnt keep me from falling in love and it doesnt keep me from feeling pain when I am rejected or betrayed. She was healthy her whole life and passed getting ready for the day sitting on her bedno one ne knows the cause..we think her heart stoppedI never got to say goodbyeI never thought I wouldnt be able to say goodbye.Im 35 and this is the closest person to me that has passed awaymy grandfather passed when I was as in grade school and he was sick for many years so mentally we prepared ourselvesI feel like there is a void in my heart i cannot fillan emptinessI just spoke to her a few days priorIm so saddened to have to not have her hereIm so sorry we all have to feel this pain, Alexa October 31, 2017 at 7:17 am Reply. My grandmother is in hospice after a 2.5 year long battle with cancer, a VERY aggressive one. I miss her a lot any my heart wouldnt stop breaking. Even through the suffering, my Grandpa managed to hold a meaningful conversation with me, tell me he loved me, and always said goodbye with Ill be with you. My ex wife is a narcissist and would get angry very easily, call me all kinds of nasty names, and give me the silent treatment for hours and then forget that we even had a conversation. Ashley August 3, 2022 at 2:32 pm Reply. I just want to free my mind from this grief so I can think again! The doctors said we are taking her off all medicines to keep her alive , but she will not feel the pain still . She didnt care about hurting me. I am feeling very upset with myself and really beating myself up with regrets because I never cherished her enough or spent enough time with her even though we live just an hour away. This is basic, rudimentary Internet 101 here people, so I suggest you become intimate with it. We were so incredibly close. 2022 Whats your Grief. i cant even explain how much this hurts, i keep texting him and telling him how much i love and miss him. i feel sad but not into tears, but seeing my mother crying and my grandmother saying her goodbye to him were breaking my heart much more to see, than his death. Marius I lost my grandmother last year on New Years Eve. Maybe she already wanted to be left alone? She was a primary teacher and one of my inspirations for wanting to become a teacher myself. Not many people have that and I am grateful. In the recent years, I have drifted away from him , because of what I think was my teenage moods lol? You never stop missing and loving those who were important to you. i am so heartbroken because he was here visiting for a few months now and when he left to go back to mexico due the cornavirus he got really sick. My grandad passed away yesterday and my heart is broken. Were a matriarchal family, were all very close to the point that some family members dont have friends just because we all get on so well, all live nearby, all helpful to one another. He was 90 and all his family had cut any bonds with him. I also do not like being fake when I am out. They lived with my parents together and hence i was basically raised by them. In September 2018 she attempted a suicide at a train station, and when I got the call that she had been sectioned I was so torn apart. COPD, PTSD, near deafhe was a Vet. I understand your pain but it will be alright ?? You will find the strength to go on. Hussain September 26, 2020 at 8:31 pm Reply, Hi I just lost my grandma due to COVID and I feel so sad her smile was the whole world to me and she was so kind and she did everything for us and Im hugging her handmade pillow its warm like her hug and sweet ,i cant process that she is gone and I cant do anything about it please if you have grandma or grandpa or mom or dad or any family member say hi to them and spend good time with them because nobody knows what gonna happens thx for everyone who put the time to type like kris and others, IsabelleS September 27, 2020 at 9:09 am Reply. Thats what hurts the most is not being able to say goodbye. 2019 She spoke a lot about her living me and prepared me for her death. I am very sorry. I miss my grandma so much and it hurts my soul. My grandmother was my rock, while my parents were abroad working she looked after me and my sister. Shelly January 21, 2019 at 8:39 pm Reply. I would give absolutely anything to sit down with my grandfather and tell him how much he meant to me! Transportation kept getting pushed back. The police said they were sending an officer to come and talk to me but I didnt make any connection. How I wish I would have known him much better and asked him so many questions about his life. My grandpa passed away yesterday morning. The funeral happened yesterday and I am back to work today. i was too afraid to touch him, he looked nothing like a living man i remember, i would not recognize him actually, but i touched a part of the bed. looking out the window in car rides and crying. Ultimately, we have no control over preventing when this line snaps, despite exerting the fullness of our efforts. I agree with him. Watch game, team & player highlights, Fantasy football videos, NFL event coverage & more I love him so much it hurts If only I could see him before his death one more time. We were the closest with her and she held on until we closed out eyes and fell asleep and then she took her last breath. She took care of me trough out my childhood and she and I had one of the biggest connections Ive ever created with a human being. I got a lot of Oh, its only your grandad! Like yes, it was my grandad. Except me. Then married one and divorced her and married a lady my grandma never liked because she was a gold digger . Hi, thank you for taking the time to comment. I want to be with my grandma but she needs her space to. I miss hearing her stories from her childhood which she would repeat ever so often. 2nd November 2016 my Nain (witch is my Mums mum) passed away from cancer, back in 2013/14 she has diagnosed with breast cancer. Until it was about march and she was in the hospital for a month and then sent her to a nursery home for a week and then back home. Im still grieving, but it improves every day (with flare-ups for old memories), and I honestly am happy and Im not happy despite him, Im happy with him. He and my grandmother were super health conscious and were in great shape only organic food and excersize every day. everyone seems to be moving on in life and then theres me, stuck in a loop. Grandma where are you? He made everyone happy even if he had to sacrifice something of his own. We all wish we could change the past, its only human. We would golf together and watch sports together. Im 40 now the eldest granddaughter and favourite ? I have even spent the last two years living with them. Covid took everything from our family. The news online everywhere. My nanny is gone and she has taken apart of me. Some may make judgments based on their subjective experience that grandparents aredistant, non-nuclear relatives. I just now feel shattered that something maybe such as COVID took her wife. The reason being is that it means some difficult times are ahead for you personally and also for your relationship. I loved grandads childhood stories. Your blog post helped. Its like I shouldnt and couldnt smile, its like its still incomplete without him. I remember seeing how weak and tired he was and it just broke my heart..He was my best friend and I was his first grandchild. Now that he is gone, I feel numb. I didnt get to go to the hospital to see her and i didnt even get to go to the funeral eather because my family left me at the house and didnt send me the address to go to the funeral. Im now 17 and still hurts just as much. My grandpa was someone I looked up to so much , total Christian but once my grandma got sick he abandoned her I felt like . My grandpa past away July 2021. Im so sorry for this . Hope you are ok x, Crystal September 20, 2021 at 11:36 pm Reply, I just lost my grandfather yesterday morning and it still feels so unreal to me idk how to live without my grandfather I watched him breath less and less until he stopped breathing. Understanding Grief / Understanding Grief : Eleanor Haley. Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You Rajitha, I am so sorry for your loss and for the immense pain you are feeling. After 15 minutes my aunt came back with my mom shaking her hed and crying. My paternal grandmother died when I was around 4. Im 33 now and I feel I have bonded with them more as an adult chatting about life, my love life, my son, everything. Male 3: When people are thinking about killing themselves, they want somebody to ask. She was a second mother. On Thursday, (the day before his passing) the doctors said that there was nothing they could do about what was happening with his body except add tubes into his lungs to help the fluid drain, but it wasnt guaranteed to work. My grandmother was a second mother. I get days where Ill think of him and just burst out crying. You can also subscribe without commenting. I have cried on and off for all of these years. I hate this. That day I wanted to fly back at any cost, be there, with her, with my family! kritika March 29, 2021 at 12:01 pm Reply. And were never ready to lose a love one no matter their age. I really did feel like he was indestructible. I thought I was prepared for her passing. Many grandparents could only hope to have such a wonderful grandchild in their lives. And now , when I go back to these old memories, I want to discuss these with him and cry. She is not expected to make it past the 26th and she hasnt woken up in the past 36 hours. Danna M Morse November 5, 2021 at 2:33 pm, It is a tough one. I feel I have such beautiful memories with her. she was 85 and lived in a little town in India. We all ran over to help her but it was just her end. I pray one day I will see him again. Ricky k November 6, 2020 at 11:43 pm Reply. I will never stop loving you both, bye , Sydney September 19, 2020 at 4:22 pm Reply. he loved me so much, he was always very special to me and he cared a lot about me.. i feel that i took him for granted and this is eating me alive.. im 17 and never thought this was going to happen to me, like i knew death and loss happens but i never processed that i actually had to go through it at some point. My heart is so broken. Just when I think that I got over it, thered be something she left at my house in the bookcase or on the table, and it would kick start my grief again. You may wish you had known your grandparent better. everyone keeps asking me about that day and what happened and i feel as though their reactions and words are subtle ways to tell me i played a part in it. In the other hand, I am happy he passed away in peace as he was suffering and I know he is in Gods hand now. I hope this website brings you some comfort. We had dinner at another family members house, without him. He was born in Oklahoma. My grandmother was more like a mother to me. After losing his wife in 2010.. he lasted 10 long years.. he loved his family very much Was a kind man.. my only regret was to call him more.. last time I physically saw him was this passed January.. then covid hit the last actually chatting with him was just 2 weeks ago.. he told me he loved me and loves my daughter joy his 16th great grandchild On before the day he died I swear he was here saying good bye.. here I thought it was negativity spirit but it was my grandpa.. my daughter sound spa went off and the tv went on by its self then I had a dream of over whelming sadness and was reaching out for him like I was giving him a hug.. then I just felt sick so did my siblings.. anyway I woke up at 5am yesterday to find my phone and went back to sleep.. papa was just 0n my mind dearly.. He was strong and never moaned I didnt see him moan anyhow he was my role model I thought hed live forever stupid I know Anyhow he had a heart attack 3yrs ago and the hospital saved him he seemed a little different, as in, weaker and he liked to stay in the house but he was still grandad! She absolutelyABSOLUTELY..knows how much you love her. 95 years old. This whole experience, from me driving back forth from Nola to Lake Charles every 2-3 weeks up until the day she died, has been a tumbleweed of feelings that I am still trying to work through. They are everything to me and I truly believe many people do not know the appropriate things to say to such pain. Til now I always cry especially when remembering my Grandpa. After the death of a loved one, people often long for others to recognize and acknowledge their pain. My grandma passed away in late May of this year. 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