Please help I love him so much. My husband and I have been in trouble for a while, 12 years ago the ago I began. Weve been married for 24 years and going through all of this has made me realize how much I want him still and I cant see the future without him. But he wants to stay married and not divorce right now because of insurance etc. He carries you along. He says there is no bond or emotional connection and wont have sex wjth me Because he doesnt want to use me just for that he wants more. Gone. Its been miserable. What The Bible Says To A Woman Who Feels Unloved By Her Husband. Saying that I am the narcissistic, selfish one never putting him first. I see what you mean about the difficulty of getting past the hurt. You can register for free at https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/, Hi Laura, my husband and I have been married for 8 years we were deeply in love. "Try not to accuse or assume." 3. Ill bet you wont post this. March 24, 2017 by Andrew G. Marshall. So our recent events confuse me..and I am wondering what went wrong. He said I was ugly. He said he feels as though I chose to be a homemaker, but that I dont do anything. I just felt so hurt that we had a bad fight. Emily, Wow, thats a painful situation. He stopped being sbusive and has worked really hard on that but there was resentment and anger (mainly on my side). Now I can see from the cell activity log that he has been communicatating with this woman for over two weeks. During that time he was seeing someone else. Hes the love of my life. Advice?? Dr. We have 2 babies together and have gone through a lot these pst years. You can register here: He have had Two online affairs, but the last one seemed to be very emotional and feelings starting to happen even the girl was only 20 years old and we have three kids. My questions are should I keep my distance? I stumbled across it as I was searching for what to do when your husband has never loved you, what hope there might be. yet he will call me babe (which has always been his term of endearment towards me) and for the first time in at least three months, we recently spent a rather intimate afternoon-early evening together And I know personally, I can not be pleased by just anyone. Thats not right! Is there anything I can do? He keeps me around for convenience, appearance, and sex, and I just can't do it anymore.". I still love him but yes I have totally lacked respect. Your ideas are as valuable as your husband's ideas. Withdraws. My husband told me last night that he does not love me anymore. How do I cater to his needs when Im so broken from not getting my needs meet.. Latisha, I hear how depleted and broken you are. To answer your question, YES, we can help you too! My husband said he isnt attracted to me anymore and doesnt enjoy making love to me. A while ago I began researching personality disorders, trying to figure out what was wrong with him, because to him everything was/is always my fault. But, he shows me with actions he isnt there for me. Our fights are usually over ridiculous things but I know its really something much deeper. He picked up a phone and called her through Facebook and they talked like it was yesterday and not 17 yrs later. It means that even though you may be surprised or you may want to work on your relationship, they've reach a point where that is no longer possible. I have been married for 13 years and my husband has said he doesnt love me anymore, and I must move out, no counselling. Or is that a game? His actions made me feel like he loves me. My coaches and I have helped thousands of women fix their relationships, even when he said he was in love with someone else. You may think its up to him, that you dont have the power, and its true you cant control what hes going to do. My baby is now 7 weeks oldex comes around a lot to help out and we do go out as a family at times and it feels like old times. 23 years together, since we were kids is a long time to throw away. Forget about complaints and discuss your marriage problems calmly. When talking with your husband, keep your cool and don't give in to emotions. My husband told me the other week that he doesnt love me anymore and wants to leave. you start begging someone and groveling you going to have to do that all your life. He wouldnt speak to me for the first 2 weeks and then called me to come to his place. I can see why youre feeling hopeless right now. I think we still have hope but he didnt think so! Divorce occurredI wanted him to have the freedom to find someone he would love and would make him happy. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); 3334 E. Coast Hwy, Suite 609 Its not what I wanted but I was angry and didnt know what else to do. Now I feel desired, cherished and adored. I guess there is always that page In The book that causes you to go oh sh**, and this was mine. It sounds confusing that he was still intimate with you. he has faked it many years. We had many conversations and he bought your book, First The Empowered Wife. I admire you for having the commitment and vulnerability to come here for support. Thank you. My Husband Doesn't Love Me But Won't Leave, What Do I Do? - Worried Lovers Sincerely yours. We are Christians and I always felt as my spiritual leader that . How do I protect my heart and still believe in hope for us? I told him to move into the guest room. You can apply at lauradoyle.org/marriage-relationship-coaching. There would have been no change at all in him if Id carried on. Bojana, that sounds so heartbreaking. I like your approach and the approach of the modern marriage coach. To top it off social services investigated my husband, they even investigated him at school because he works in the childrens school. Two weeks ago my husband told me he hated me and that I make his life miserable. I have no idea what Ive done. He wanted to be free and eventually came back. With this last break up I have felt that it is really over. He said he felt nothing and didnt love me that way. It takes a little while for him to get the memo that youve changed, so hang in there. the reason he no longer whats to be married (and he hasnt come straight out and said he wants a divore, only that he doesnt want this anymore) is because for 13 yrs i always question him about where he is or who he is with and accuse him of cheating. https://www.amazon.com/Empowered-Wife-Surprising-Attracting-Attention-ebook/dp/B01N540235/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Empowered+WIfe&qid=1572541541&sr=8-1. Do you have any further guidance? any suggestions? Some of us are out here giving it all weve got and still beating ourselves up over what we must be doing wrong for things to go on not working. https://lauradoyle.org/marriage-relationship-coaching/, How? Like them, I have found that practicing the Intimacy Skills is the best self-help I have ever undertaken. I signed a 6 month lease and was hoping for us to work on ourselves and go back. Sure we are still together but I know that the only string that connects us are our children. Apply for a free Discovery Call to explore how private coaching would fit for you so you can save your marriage: lauradoyle.org/marriage-relationship-coaching. He tells me he doesnt want help but he doesnt want to be with anyone else or sleep with anyone else. My husband and I are at rock bottom, years of neglect from both sides, 2 kids and the lockdown has pushed us to the brink of separation. My students have fixed their marriages in similar situations (and worse!) I want your needs to be met too, and I know that your husband can be inspired to show you the consideration you have shown for him. I know that if I continue to chase after him it will only drive him farther awaybut if I just let everything be then he will move his things out and it will be the end. Chris, Wow! You can do that here: My husband and I are a military couple, going on 2 years of marriage in janurary with a newly turned 1 year old son. im trying to change this time, 13 yrs is a long time to throw away and 4 kids later. I would love to talk to women who are going through this. 2. I have began some therapy, per my MD doctors recommendation, to work through MY issues with MYSELF..with that little girl inside that has been hurting my whole life. If I can do it, I know that you too can inspire your husband to love you the way you need to be loved. We are trying to work on fixing our marriage, but he still hasnt given up the addiction or the lies. I think he is seeing someone else but I do not want to give up. Put my brave face trying to act happy was so hard and my husband seems didnt appreciate it. One week later he is telling me even though I was wonderful and everything was great, he still wants a divorce and there is nothing I can do. He did however agree to go to a counselor and has agreed to an additional 4 sessions. Me and my husband have been having some problems for a while. Its a two way street it takes two to have a relationship good or bad. But now, he has been very sweet to me and keeps telling me he loves me and compliments me etc. My husband doesn't love me but wants to stay together.. No wife has ever enjoyed the realization that her husband no longer feels the same way about her. i need some help. Thank you Laura. Weve been together 13 yrs and married for seven. He didnt push me away. Seems he was honest about his feelings but not giving me a chance to repairs . I realize that respect is critical to men. Following God When Your Husband Doesn't - Lifeway Women I invite you to put your name on the waitlist for my Ridiculously Happy Wife program. He wants a divorce now but I dont. Completely rips my world apart. I want my husband to want me - Uncovering Intimacy Thats just a below the belt comment for either sex to say to the other. I didnt see any way I could be happy with this man, but I didnt want a divorce either. About three weeks ago he stopped talking to me he didnt reply to my messages. My husband says he no longer loves me like a wife I admire your commitment to saving your marriage and giving your daughter (and maybe another little one) a home-court advantage. For 18 years of being married to him, I know that once we grow old and I can no longer work, he will be the first person that will leave me. We can help you too! Id love to see you get your hands on The Six Intimacy Skills, which I lay out step-by-step in the book The Empowered Wife. Respect. Now, 5 years later, he has apologized for the hurt and pain, and is discussing my willingness to try a reconciliation. Both of us are divorced. Hes distant. He had no intention of punishing you. Im 37, never felt this way for anyone. Your storry gives me hope. You can register for free at https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/. I realize Im no saint. He confessed he had some other girl in his mind where everything was perfect just that girl was confused and going through divorce. I am definitely sad and devastated that he said that and feels that, more so probably that he said he has felt that way for 3 years and led me to believe he still loved me. Did I say the right things? Im lost. I was committed to making it work & I thought it was working until two days ago. Now I dont know anymore. I would love for you to have that too. 4. 4 yrs ago I found out hes got a serious porn addiction. But he also doesnt want to leave. I know it can be a little tricky to implement it all by yourself. Is it too late? Find common ground. It has freed me to do everything I can to support other women in my mission to end world divorce. We have been married for 11 years and together for 14! My Husband Doesn't Love Me But Wants To Stay Together. The strange part is he wants to stay married. But if I had known 3 years ago how he felt then I would not have waited until now to seek personal counseling and marital counseling. Ill show you how in my upcoming free Introductory Course on the 6 Intimacy Skills at https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/. ( I found one over here). This feeling is very, very common in long-term relationships, but . Now my husband adores me, as he shows and tells me every day. Get a coach so you can stop feeling hopeless, scared and lonely and start feeling desired, taken care of and special again! I have been separated from my husband Since September and from the beginning he stated he did not love me anymore and I just could not accept it because he always acted like he did until then. I have told him many times that I love him. Hes just hurting and trying to get what he needsnot trying to get you to suffer. I took it as a painful slap in the face, I know believe it was him crying for oxygen. These marriages are now playful and passionate. They too have found that the 6 Intimacy Skills transformed their marriages, as I wrote about here: http://lauradoyle.org/blog/my-husband-is-a-narcissist/. I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. 24. It was awkward at first, like a first date, but it was great. To making it work & I thought it was great I began them, I have no! 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